Monday, December 29, 2008

Infatuation

I have been consumed by him. Edward. I have been trying to think of ways to find a vampire to fall hopelessly and madly in love with me without it affecting my normal human life. I am happily married with a kid after all. I've thought of ways to turn my hubby into a vampire but I don't think he'll go for it. So my only hope is the books. I read the first one within a day and with the starting of the second one I am starting to not like Miss Bella very much. She annoys me. He could do better. Edward and his family are perfect and I find myself missing them.

I've had other infatuations, at least this one is safe (I haven't started my vampire hunting... yet) and contained within a book!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

......tap.

I lost my mind this afternoon and headed out into the crazy whirlwind of all the people trying to finish up their shopping. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!

(I must warn you that there is an outrageously long run on sentence ahead)
Of course the lines were long, the first stinkin' grocery store didn't have the right size diapers that I was after, every old granny that thought she could still drive her big ass cadillac was out on the streets going a raging speed of 2mph, husbands were biting their hands off trying not to bitch slap their wives who must have black mailed them to come out in the craziness (makes me wonder what these women have on these men), kids were whining & screaming & crying & laughing, the bell ringers were ringing at mad paces, the second store did have the right size diapers but they were waaay in the back, the aisle blockers were right on cue, the old men who like to chit chat must have drank too much coffee and were way too chatty and it was windy and just too darn cold!

As I hurried home I was trying to forget all that I had just went through. A car cut me off so I started my usual Just-been-cut-off rants and cussings when all of a sudden a leaf caught my eye as it made it's landing on the windshield, "....tap."

Everything changed. I was smiling and was happily thinking of all the beautiful trees and nature and birds singing... someone must have laced my cocoa... and was in a sudden peace with everything. I wish I could explain the feeling that overcame me and the sudden calmness I felt, all from just a tap on the windshield. It was almost as if "someone" tapped me on the shoulder and said... "hey, chill out would ya?"

I think I now understand my daughter's love for leaves.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I'm Gorgeous!

Yep, I'm gorgeous! My shampoo bottle told me so!



I had never noticed that my shampoo bottle had a thing for me until last night when I dragged my tired and dirty self into the shower. As I stated in the post before, things have been somewhat chaotic for me so my looks and hygiene might not have been at their best. After I washed some slept in makeup off my face I grabbed the shampoo bottle and "washed that man right outta my hair". As I was attempting to shave the forest of hair that had grown on my legs (where's the weedeater when you need it?) I started to think about how the new shampoo smelled really good (I had grabbed it from the "Goodie Basket" at the register on my last grocery store adventure). That was also when I realized that razors are not something that you buy cheaply. They are now right up there with Toilet Paper. There are just some things you have to pay extra for!

So I finished up the detailing of my body and checked out the shampoo bottle. Instantly my eyes zoomed in on "You're Gorgeous" and I swear the darn bottle winked at me! I instantly blushed and looked away. "So, Pert... do you mind if I call you Pert? Do you come here often?"

Now, I'm no dummy, I know ALL the bottles say the same line to EVERYBODY but damnit, I did feel gorgeous! "I feel pretty, oh so pretty..." We all get our kicks somewhere and right now I'm getting mine from a hot little shampoo bottle, that, might I add, I got on Sale!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Chaos.

I have been absent in the blog world lately but there is a reason: Chaos.


I'm not just laying on the couch thinking, "hmmmmm, I should go blog right now but I don't wanna." It's more like I'll blog once the vacuum quits blowing up on me, the toilet stops leaking, the light fixtures quit falling in the middle of the night, Realtors stop showing up unannounced, Emma Anne cooperates when I want to take a picture, the cats quit wrestling with the presents, the house starts to clean itself, the handyman finishes a job completely, the christmas presents I ordered online are actually worth a darn AND I find the time to sit down and think straight.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Kiss & Makeup?

One night I couldn't sleep so I watched some TV. I'm kind of an infomercial junkie but that night I came across a show where people were judging possible dates by their rooms before ever meeting the person. The one's being judged were supposedly unaware of when someone was going to see their room so they didn't have time to clean it up or hide anything. This kind of freaked me out as I wondered what someone would think of me if they had the chance to go thru my things. I eventually fell asleep. The next morning we had some things to do so I actually put some makeup on. As I was fumbling through my makeup bag I started thinking about that show and it hit me... what if someone were to judge you by your makeup bag before ever getting to meet you? That's a pretty scary thought as far as I'm concerned because, well... let's just say I haven't been keeping up with my makeup and it's home.

I put my bag on the counter and tried to look at it as if I had never seen it before. "Hmmmm.." I would judge myself as someone who needs new makeup!

Monday, December 1, 2008

Another Addiction... The DVR!

The DVR is such a great invention, it truly is. It's hard to imagine how life was before them. Recording with VCR's seems so silly to me now. I used to have a stack of blank tapes ready and I remember how impatient I was when I had to wait for a tape to rewind. The DVR has made TV watching such a breeze but I had no clue how dependent on it I would become.

One day I was in the car and someone had said something funny on the radio but I didn't catch all of it. My first instinct was to grab the remote and hit the rewind button. I laughed it off and have done it several times since then. I realized my dependency was really bad when an instinct was to rewind a conversation I was having with a person who was standing in front of me.

We have recently downgraded from having two DVR's to just one. We gave up our bedroom DVR and have entered a strange world. It's a world I once knew long ago so it's familiar but still strange. I'm talking about your basic cable with no Guide or Info button to tell you instantly what and who you're watching. I ignorantly change the channels trying to find something that looks interesting. It reminds me of when I was younger and would come across a movie that was half way done and when it was over I could not tell you what the name of it was, I could only explain what I saw in hopes that someone else saw it too.

It makes me wonder how the human race would react if we woke up one day and all of our toys were gone. Do you remember the days when you would actually wait until you got home to call someone with your home phone that had no Caller ID? Gasp!