Friday, November 21, 2008

Doozie of a Day.. Mystery Solved!

Today was, and still possibly is, a Doozie of Day! What's so Doozie about it?
Let's start with my darling daughter's Dr. Appt that was in the wee hours of 830am. We arrived early this morning which is guaranteed to be the last time that ever happens. Not because I didn't enjoy watching all the snotty kids running around but because I'm just not a person who is early, no matter how hard I try or don't try. It just rarely happens.

Emma Anne decided she was going to drink all her OJ right before they called us in. I was just glad she was drinking something. My wonderful daughter HATES when they try to weigh her so I told the nurse, upon arrival to the scale, that we would have to weigh her and I together then just me. I don't like being weighed either but for some reason they can't find the rat's ass that they could give when I throw a screaming fit about it. As soon as the nurse took Emma Anne away from me she got upset and that caused her to have a coughing fit which caused her to cover me and herself in OJ puke. Just when we thought she was done, she went for round 2! The nurse and I were frantically moving around trying to catch and move out of the way of the spray and then time just stood still when she said "I sorry". It was so pitiful your could hear everyone's heartstrings pulling tight. At that point Emma Anne could have told the nurses and everyone else who passed her to "F*ck off" and they would have thought it was the cutest thing! Once time started up again we were rushed into a room that had a broken light so we were then rushed again into another room. All the while I'm thinking "this is going to be a doozie of day!"

The nurses were absolutely wonderful and helped me clean her up and got her a little patient gown because I did not bring a change of clothes (you never need them until you forget them!).

One even offered to let me use her coat to go home in so I could take off my top shirt. I declined and told her how much I appreciated it but I wasn't worried about myself. Things started to look up until the Dr. decided she would like Emma Anne to get a chest Xray done. "Are you serious? Do you not remember seeing all the puke all over the hallway? Here, look at my shirt, maybe that will remind you of the trauma and now you want to add more?" was what I was thinking but instead said, "ok, sure! Whatever you think Doc." The techs were amazingly quick and it wasn't that bad. There were some tears but we were back in our room in what seemed like 5mins. The cool thing about our technology these days is that the Dr. was able to pull up the Xrays on the computer in our room and I was able to look at them with her. She diagnosed Sassy Pants (actually OJ stained Pants) with Bronchitis and gave me a prescription for Antibiotics. We then were free to leave.. finally!

Things went smoothly from then until I realized that upon SOLVING THE MYSTERY of the Garage Critter I also caused myself some major freaking out-ness!

This morning, as we were driving down our street, I was shocked to see a pretty big Raccoon in the front yard of the house on the corner. Bingo! There's our Troll! "But what is he doing out during the day and why isn't he running off as I pull up to get a closer look?" thought I. He actually acted like a drunk Raccoon who had called a cab as he staggered up to the car. I pulled up away from it because I didn't want him/her to go under the car while I froze wondering if I was going to run it over or not. It then walked across the street in an obvious dazed, confused way. Definitely discombobulated. I figured he had ate some poison or something but knew not what I could do for it. Plus, I had to hurry up and get to the doctors office so I could get puked on, remember?

Well I was pretty content with my Garage Critter Mystery being solved until it was brought to my attention that the drunk raccoon was actually acting the way a rabid raccoon would act. Great! Now I have rabies!! Because I had picked up the plate and put it in our dishwaser after it had been licked by the rabid beast!

Here is how the rest of the story goes as being told to my friends in my BabyCenter Mommy Group:

Ok... *taking a deep breath... and .... exhale*

I just got off the phone with Animal Control and Poison Control.

The internet will scare the freckles off your face man! Mine are still clinging to the walls shivering with fear!! I just about had my whole family including the dog (cats never go outside) loaded up and on our way to the ER!

Damnit man!

Poison Control assured me that I would need to have been biten or scratched by the rabid animal and that (after my millions of questions) the rabies would not still be living on the plate 12-13hrs after the animal had licked it. And since I have washed the plate (on it's 2nd cycle now) in a newer dishwasher (they tend to get hotter) that the plate should be fine, but I might want to tell my boss what all went on with the plate. That way she can decide if she wants to keep it or toss it. Not because it could possibly have rabies but just for the heebie jeebie factor. Thankfully I got a person who could totally relate to me.

Here is my conversation with the Animal Control:

AC (animal control): "Waco Police Station..."

Me (Jackie): Er.. uh.. I was calling Animal Control? ( I got nervous because a policeman answered!)

AC: Yes Ma'am how can I help you?

Me: Are you animal Control?

AC: Yes Ma'am how can I help you?

Me: Well you see I have this plate.. (just joking).

Well you see, this morning I saw a Raccoon who at the time I thought might have gotten into some poison because he was acting like he was drunk and was out during the day. But now that I have shared my story with other people they are pretty sure it's a rabid raccoon and he's in our neighborhood!

AC: (silence)........Do you know where the animal is now, ma'am?

Me: No, it was 8am this morning when I saw him.(opposed to 8pm this morning)

AC: Ok, let me get your info and we'll have someone check it out as soon as possible.

I figured that will work for now and of course if I see Rabi (that's what I'm calling the raccoon now, although I should have not named him because that causes an attachment which will cause me to be sad if I see him dead.. I'll just have to remember he almost gave me rabies!!) him again I'll call AC again.

I am now finishing off this Doozie of Day with a glass of wine, so who knows what's going to happen next!


Ashley said...

Wow girly! You did have a doozie of a day! Hope it has all calmed doen now!

Courtney said...

That is so sweet that she said sorry- it always amazes me how cute kids can be sometimes-even the most unexpected times.

Sandra said...

I am so sorry for your day. I hope everything is better today and so on. I am kinda disappointed that the garage critter isn't the troll :(

Chelle said...

ok aside from making JP and I laugh hysterically :) it really sucks about the vomit and poor rabi, I must say I'm excited to see someone else watches Pushing Daisies! :)

Chelle said...

so did we! We had to pause the show so we wouldn't miss what was said after and we laughed so hard! Twilight did suck major ass if you read the book first anyway...if you have never read the book you might like the movie but the acting was so ridiculously cheesy you might not be able to see past that... I'm gonna blog about it tomorrow.