Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Decades Past

In less than a week I will be 31 years of age. How the Hell did this happen?!! Seriously? The past decade is seriously like a blur to me and most of that blur is the beginning of it. I remember 20, 21 even most of 22 but what happened to the rest, I really don't remember being 26. Was I abducted? Maybe. Or it's very possible that I spent those years worrying and stressing about things that didn't matter (obviously, or I would remember them) and not spending time in the "now". In my defense I had no idea about living in the moment then. I was too caught up in my head I'm sure. I don't know if it comes with maturity or with having a child but I see things a lot differently now and try my best to live in the moment as much as I can. Emma Anne helps me to do that. I feel that I have grown so much in the past couple of years and it brings me to this question:

How is the person you are now different from the person you were a Decade ago?

10 yrs ago I was Jackie Suzann Steele and was completely full of myself. I was just about to turn 21. I had already had my fair share of alcohol by then so it wasn't that big of a deal that I was turning that age. Now I could just buy it. I was pretty stoked about going to bars and clubs. I was careless and was making horrible decisions. I was experimenting with many drugs and my priorities needed to be checked majorly! I was working as a Bartender at Marie Callender's (yes this one had a full fledge bar, weird I know.) and living with my boyfriend and his twin brother. There was no structure in my life, no goals. It was just whatever happened, happened. Unfortunately things got worse before they got better.

The person I am now is so much more responsible and more caring of other people. I have learned how important structure and scheduling is and that you need to set goals for yourself. Never stop striving to be better. The person I am now, if given the chance, would go back to the girl 10 yrs ago and would help her to better herself instead of if given the chance would go back and party my ass off. That's saying a lot for me and I'm proud of it!

Speaking of living in the moment yall must read the book A New Earth, Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle. Oprah did a huge production about this book, so you probably already know about it. It will change your life, for the better.


Rachel E. said...

Happy Birthday, a little early! Let's see, a decade ago I was 17...and engaged! :0 Too responsible for my own good...working full-time hours after school to help keep the lights on. Yuck.

My word today: spessi....like a fine champagne...yes, I'd like the Spessi '62, thanks.

Rachel E. said...

Sure, I can follow your comments to my comments here there or anywhere, Sam I Am. :)

My new word: lating. Like when you're pumping iron, workin' the lats..."What's up dude?" "Dude, I'm lating sooo hard right now." Heh heh.

Sandra said...

It's amazing how much we all change as time goes by. I can't imagine you any other way then the perfect and quirky Jackie I know now.

Julie said...

Ten years ago I was 16 and had been married for a few months already. Marriage was not what either of us had expected and I was the weird girl in high school. I went to church a lot.

Today: I'm still weird. Still married. Three kids have made me a little less self-centered. (I'm working on it people!) I gave up church, but still looking for the big amigo.

I read that book too! It took me a while and I read it in fragments. I want to go back and read it again.